An end of the year 'exercise'

End of the Year - What Do You Really Want? reminder

Many of you have experienced the Check-In process with the following 'steps':
1. Answer the question "What do you want?" Journal.
2. Answer the question "What do you really want?" Journal.
3. Reflect. Alone or with others. "What insights have you gathered by answering the two questions".

As the end of the year approaches, it doesn't hurt to do this little exercise for yourself. And no, it doesn't completely mess up the process if you know there are two questions. You just need to be a little more observation with your internal dynamics as you prepare to answer question 1 and then question 2.

But I also came across this more in-depth thought provoker article from Robert Fritz (structural dynamics guru guy), And have found his suggested steps for reflection worth sharing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title of his blog post: If you limit yourself to what seems possible or reasonable, all that is left is compromise

Since the time we were young, we have been taught to limit our aspirations. The question, "What do you want?" is translated into, "Given limitations, what do you want?"

When we ask people what they want, too often they are a lost. It isn't that they don't want things. It is that they have absolutely no idea how to think about the subject. On the one hand, they can only think in terms of what seems possible, reasonable, or available. On the other hand, they are looking for something that will enrich their lives, enable them to become more involved, and fulfill the promise they intuitively understand and for which they long - something they can't seem to find by discovery or revelation or from traditional goal setting courses or from the self-help world.

If you limit your choices, all that is left is a compromise, one that is incapable of inspiring the type of deeper involvement that most people crave. You can't invest your life spirit in a compromise.

Here are a few tips:

1. Separate what you want from what you think is possible

You don't know what is possible, only what seems probable. If you begin to censor yourself before you even have a proper discussion with yourself, you are going to end up limiting yourself to only those things that seem doable. You are light-years away from thinking in terms of what you truly want. From this limited menu, there may not be much you actually want to order. No wonder it would be hard to know what you want when this were the case. Whatever you are left with is pretty unappetizing. Do NOT consider if what you want is possible when thinking about it. We divide and think: first a truthful understanding of what we truly want to create in our lives; then considerations about the strategy that might enable us to create it.

2. Rethink everything

We have all made certain promises to ourselves when we were young. We may have changed our minds. We are not stuck with some idea we had years ago. It is best to enter into a conversation with yourself with a clean slate, turning over a new leaf, a fresh start.

3. Start small

Most people are not in the habit of thinking about what they want. They react or respond to the circumstances they find themselves in, and so they can only think situationally. The best way to learn anything is to start small, build muscles and stamina, and create a body of experience. Make sure that these small things are really things you want. Get into the habit of checking with yourself about that.

4. Don't think in terms of payoffs.

Too often, people are not able to think about what they really want because they expect the result to do things like make them happy, give them satisfaction, enlightenment, and a host of other payoffs. This burdens your ability to think in terms of what you want because you are speculating about the chances of the payoff being significant. Once you think in terms of the outcomes you want and not the payoff, you are free to get involved on the good days and the bad days. Remember, your emotional experiences are like the weather: sometimes it rains and sometimes it's sunny. Don't think in terms of consistent emotions. Think in terms of only one question:

What do I really want?

So, if you limit yourself to what seems possible or reasonable, all that is left is compromise, and you can't invest your life-spirit into a compromise. This is a principle that, once taken on, can enable you to organize your life around your highest aspirations and deepest values.

CIYO Alumnae Spotlight - Musician Virginie Robillard

Virginie Robillard is an amazing CIYO Alumna who lives in Paris. If you are visiting France, do take a moment to find out if she is performing during your visit. She is amazing!

And during our Sept 2011 CIYO in France, she played a beautiful piece (Sicilienne) by 18th century woman composer Maria Theresia Von Paradis. Since we don't have a clip of her playing it, I am sharing Zuckerman's own beautiful version.

Occupy your own center

Various friends of mine, the occasional pundit on tv, my next door neighbor yesterday......they all keep asking what is the clear demand of the Occupy movement participants.  Something about the question keeps triggering me. So rather than attribute it to some genetic predisposition towards chaos inherited from my anarchist Italian grandfather, I’ve started to wonder….....

I think I get irritated by the question because it is my belief that an emergent collectively informed movement cannot have a 'clear demand list' until it has had time to test its ideals against the realities of the societal and political system of which it is a part of. And because rather than defering responsibility to 'them', this sort of movement provides each of us with an opportunity to rediscover our own core responsibility.

I see the Occupy 'movement' at one level as simply demanding that we each wake up and think about what is and what is not right in a healthy society. And from that thoughtful awareness, take what action would be more aligned with our values. And to me, that root cause 'demand' is both powerful and a hell of a lot more demanding of me/us personally, and collectively than simply considering whether I support the Occupy movement or the status quo.

So what if ‘their’ essential demand were that we should each stop worrying about their demand list and instead consider what it would take for each of us individually to fully Occupy our own mind, heart, spirit, body? and out of that place of center, what would we then be like when interacting with others who share our neighborhood, our countries, our world? And how often are we really in that state of being with ourselves and one another? And how often do we want to be?

Just musing....

What is your work? What are you most passionate about? What is one thing you've always wanted to do or experience?

If you feel like hosting an informal dinner gathering for a group of relative strangers who you just know have some amazing lives........you may want to send out some pre-gathering questions and ask them to do a Reply All (or for a more kinetic version, have them write their answers on sticky notes as they come in and have them wear them as they mingle and mix around the room).

1. What do you call your work these days?
2. What are you most passionate about?
3. What is one thing you've always wanted to do or experience?

Give it a try. You may be surprised at the answers and the level of connection that can blossom as a result.

And most importantly, have fun hosting and being hosted!

CIYO'ing - mid November update

Just back from beautiful Windhorse Farm in Nova Scotia, a family run (by Jim and Margaret Drescher) sustainable farm and forestry program.

Windhorse Fram is only 1.5 hours from Halifax, Nova Scotia and they have beautiful facilities for individual retreats, family reunions or leadership development programs nestled in 300 acres of beautiful farmland and forest. See www.windhorsefarm.org for their upcoming events and more details.

CIYO'ing - early September 2011 update

Just back from two weeks of CIYOing.

Abiquiu NM CIYO 2 Sept 16-20 - Then a CIYO 2 (for alumnae of our programs) in New Mexico.
During our stay, in addition to two outdoor outings, we incorporated a visit to the newly opened Rising Moon Gallery and Art Center where we spent 3 hours being guided through an intuitive art session. http://www.risingmoongalleryandartcenter.com/?page_id=437. We also had a skype group session with one of the country's best astrologers, Debra Silverman of http://www.debrasilvermanastrology.com/

One of our very gifted artist participants, Marguerite Drescher of Windhorse Farm in Nova Scotia, created this beautiful montage of her pictures of our time together.
CIYO 2 New Mexico VIDEO  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfySTv-4AZ8

Ojai CA CIYO Sept 11-14 -  We held a CIYO program in  Ojai California at the beautifully restful Ojai Retreat Center (an ideal place for a mellow personal retreat or a small workshop - their maximum occupancy is 12 - www.ojairetreat.com). And with catering by the very talented private chef Robin Goldstein (http://www.playinginthekitchen.com/index.cfm).

As always if you  are interested in registering for an upcoming Coming Into Your Own (CIYO) - leadership from the interior to the exterior program for women, please see my events page or go to www.ciyowomensretreat.com/events.html

The Girl Effect - learn about it, blog about, support it

A prioritization of the education and empowerment of women and girls raises the standards of living and the quality of life for the entire community. Not just the women and girls involved, but also for men and for boys. Development aid and donors have figured this out and are leveraging this dynamic in many different ways.

But one doesn't have to focus exclusively on developing countries to recognize the power of this feminine dynamic. So wherever you are, learn more about what truly makes a difference and consider what might be your individual role to play in the Girl Effect. It's all about choices.

Learn more at: http://www.girleffect.org/learn/the-big-picture

What is your uniqueness? And what is the beautiful uniqueness of someone else? (it could even be a someone you don't particularly like)

Whatever you may think of Lady GaGa's music, take a moment today to celebrate your own 'born this way' uniqueness. And then celebrate in some way just one other person's uniqueness. Go ahead. Give it a try. You'll both feel so much better.

What is yours to most fully create? - Round 1 Inquiry

From the place of Vision: What is the potential?
From the place of Intuition: What does is it feel like?
From the place of Truth: What are the dilemmas I am facing or will face?
From the place of Perspective: What do I need to see (that I may be missing just now)?

photo by Tessa

What's your thread?

The Way it is by William Stafford
There's a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can't get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of that thread.

What is the Smell of the Place in the organization you are co-creating?

Are you complicit in creating a culture defined by Constraint, Compliance, Controls and Contracts? Or are you nurturing a vibrant enterprise defined by Stretch, Discipline, Trust and Support?

Watch this great video from the late professor Ghoshal, share it with colleagues, have a dialogue about it with your employees. Here's to Fontainebleau in Springtime!

What lights you up?

"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination." -- John Keats